I am so excited to introduce my best friend, Beth Buchanan, as this week’s guest blogger. Beth has been walking through the journey of adopting a child for the past several months. Beth is one of those types of friends that everyone needs to have…one that will point you to Jesus no matter what you are walking through. Not only has Beth helped me see Jesus through my circumstances, she has helped teach me that HE sees me through my circumstances. We serve the God who sees…
Have you ever felt like you were invisible? I would venture to guess that most of us have.
A few weeks ago I felt invisible. Worse than that, Satan was trying to plant a lie in my heart that I was invisible to God. It was a normal day, and I received an email from my adoption agency. Each time I see their name on my email or phone, my heart jumps. I have been waiting over 8 months for the email or phone call that would change my life and a child’s life forever.
This email though, was not “the one”. This email was a request to do respite care for an 18 month old boy. As I read it, I thought, I could do that. I prayed and asked God to confirm if I should email them back. I ran the idea past my best friend and her eyes got big, as they do when she is excited, and she agreed that I could do it. Armed with confirmation and great peace, I emailed them back. They were asking for two different week long periods and I could only do the first one.
I heard back later in the day. They said thanks, but we need someone for both weeks. At that moment, Satan tried to plant the lie that God didn’t see me. I remember thinking that I wasn’t even good enough to care for a little boy for a week. I started down the thought road of “I will never…,” as in I will never get a child of my own. I immediately took the lie and the thought to Jesus and did my best to leave them there. Two days later I received a phone call from my adoption agency asking if I was still willing to watch the little boy. I said yes!
The next week with Little Man is still a blur. However, there is one night that stands out. It was early in the week and one of the nights he struggled to stay asleep. There in my rocking chair he lay with his head tucked under my chin snoring like a truck driver as I prayed over him. As I prayed, I started to think of all the fears and what ifs that I have battled since the adoption journey began. Fears such as will I know what to do if my child gets sick? Or the big one, will my child be able and willing to trust me and attach to me? As I thought of these and others, God brought to mind for each one how I had dealt those questions with Little Man in the few short days we had been together.
Well, Little Man had a cold most of the week and yes, I did know how to help him. As for my biggest fear, attachment, Little Man and I became very attached. Through lots of prayer by myself and others, by the third day he was with me, not only was he making purposeful eye contact but was giving me spontaneous and unsolicited hugs. I started to cry happy and grateful tears right there in the dark, rocking Little Man.
That lie that Satan tried to plant in my heart was thrown as far as the East is from the West. God did see me, the whole time!!! More than that, He showed me that not only had he seen me, He heard all my fears and what ifs. He blessed me with the gift of the week with Little Man and in the midst of that blessing He showed me that He saw and heard me.
Sometimes when we are waiting for a promise of God it can be easy to let the lies in and start to distrust God. When we take our battle against the lies and lay it all at his feet, he takes it and replaces it with truth. The truth is that God is who He says He is. The truth is that God is the God who sees. Hagar felt the same way when she was cast out of the only home she had ever known. She was alone with her son and God showed up. God spoke to her and provided for her and her son. She called God El Roi, the God who sees. Not only is he the God who sees, but the God who sees me.
Genesis 16:13 NIV – She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”
Today if you feel invisible, reach out and reach up to the God who sees. He sees you!!! Lay your fears, thoughts and the lies Satan is trying to tell you at His feet and watch Him replace those with truth.